verbingnouns

An Open Letter to Daily Harvest

Dear Daily Harvest,

How long have we been seeing each other now? A year? Two years? Even though you're disorganized, have consistently slow service, and that one lady always touches the cookies with her bare fingers despite the fact that she has a piece of tissue paper in her hand, I can work around those things. I'll call my order in so it's ready when I get there and I don't have to actually see the lady get the cookie. Though you've gotten my order wrong on more than one occasion, I still find you irresistible. I can see how you misunderstood "turkey" for "tuna" (and the tuna was pretty good, I must say). I can deal with that. You have so many other good qualities that make my visits worthwhile: The bread? Excellent. The chicken salad? Delicious. Don't even get me started on the cookies. You have excelled in many things.

I've been hesitant to bring this up, but, for the love of Pete, will you please stop putting that nasty pickle spear in with my order? I can't overlook this anymore. I always specify "no pickle", but it's always in there, contaminating my sandwich and making the veggie chips soggy. I respect the fact that pickle-eaters don't understand non-pickle-eaters' dislike of a pickle being anywhere near their food. I'm not completely pickle-intolerant. If you were Chick-fil-a, I would just take the pickle slices off my sandwich and keep on trucking. But pickle spears are far more foul than pickle slices, which is why I find your refusal to acknowledge my request so insulting. This behavior is completely unacceptable. I can't go on like this. If we're to keep seeing each other, we're going to have to work this out.

Sincerely,
Christin